Three Lives of Me

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Spending Time in the Friend Zone

If you read my Saturday Self-Session, you know that one of my reflection items was to spend more time with friends. Trying to find time was part of the reason as to why I hadn’t done so and as I said before, I am a serious home-body. Going out can be a challenge schedule wise, but not as much as I was making it to be. I think deep down I didn’t think making friend time was that important. And I was so very wrong.

Yesterday, my day consisted of two, yes two, dates. I had a play date in the morning and dinner in the evening. I wasn’t sure how I would make it all work because being out of the house all day makes me a little moody (It’s weird, I know. I blame my mother).  However, everything went good. In fact, it was actually better than good.

First, I headed north to visit a friend for a play date. We’ve known each other for several years. Back in our college days, we used to work together on campus.  In the past two years, she’s become somewhat of a staple in our family as she’s photographed a few of our major milestones including our wedding, pregnancy and son’s first year. Whenever I need professional photos done, she’s my go-to-person.

So when I needed pictures for the blog, we decided to make a day of it. We hadn’t ever really hung out like that before and after yesterday, I’m not sure as to why. What I can say it was it was SO worth it. I don’t have many married friends with kids and being able to discuss family life and personal projects was amazing. The things I question, she questions, too. The things that annoy her, annoys me, too. After sharing my  abnormal things with her, I suddenly felt completely normal. Funny how that works.

Speaking of abnormal – no one knows just how not normal I am, like my two besties. After many months of all living in the same town again, we finally arranged to meet for dinner. Fun fact: we go back several years as well and, true story, we used to work together in college, too. At the same place on campus with my photographer friend. I bonded with these two ladies and they have been my support system ever since.

We don’t talk often, but when we catch up it’s like we picked up where we left off. So, I’m not sure why I thought we’d be done in two hours (as I told my husband). I should know better, especially since it had been awhile since we all had seen each other last. There isn’t much we don’t talk about or laugh about for that matter. As much as we’ve each been through, I love that the dynamics of our friendship hasn’t changed.

When I got home and walked through my front door, all I could think about was how happy I was. And don’t get me wrong, I am happy in my marriage and family. But this was a different kind of happy. Like, I was a little less crazy. I no longer felt alone about things going on in my life because I was able to relate to someone (well, three someones). We're all just balancing our lives the best we can.

A little validation goes a long way, doesn’t it?

I will admit that I totally underestimated the value of maintaining friendships. It’s imperative that I remain proactive in making friend time a regular occurrence. It really works wonders for my own sanity (and probably my husband’s). And it was a good reminder that good friends are good for the soul.

How often do you spend time with your friends?